When I was a younger version of myself, a family member rather famously sent his willing mother on a days-long hunt for the perfect magnifying glass for his Sherlock Holmes costume. I thought he was a tool, and far too old to be wearing costumes on days that weren’t Halloween or rehearsal, and for the same reasons that I was scornful, I was also supremely envious.
I believe I am now reaping the karmic rewards, as I have spent the past few weeks and then the past seven days in idle and then earnest search of a suitable magnifying glass for my 1979 Compact Oxford English Dictionary, which absolutely requires one. I have been trying to make do with what I have available, but even the 5x magnifier did not cut it, and after a page I had to give up. This could turn out to be an expensive endeavor. And I am laughing that I have now spent far more time and thought on the subject than my infamous relative ever did.
OH MY GOD IT’S STARTING TO RAIN! YESSSSS!
I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about making it this far without putting in my air conditioner. I’m trying to be a responsible Earthling and refrain from adding more freon to the ozone until I’m old and frail and the people on the weather tell me to in order not to die from heatstroke. But I really want the freon tonight. The only things stopping me are that it is buried under a bunch of stuff in my closet and that I’m not confident in my ability not to drop it out of my 6th story window (last year I put it in myself, but I was fueled by anger and adrenaline). Also, it would be even harder to do these things naked, and I’ll be damned if I’m putting my clothes back on.
So this morning I tried to leave the house without shoes (and then lunch, and then my train pass), there was a couple on the train who were twenty-four at the outside and the dynamic they had reminded me so much of Shithead and myself that I both wanted to hit them and tell her to run, the train stopped a couple times, I was twenty minutes late, the copy machine is seriously on the fritz, and our operating system seems to have decided to behave as though it’s being fueled by a donkey pulling a millstone. I’ve been here for an hour and twenty minutes and so far I have eaten a bagel.
Subterranean fungus…oooooo. This tea is called “Relaxing Nite,” which I took to be a version of Sleepytime Tea. Now I’m not so sure I want to drink it.
After a night in which Israel killed at least 60 Palestinians in the Shuja’iya neighborhood of Gaza City — the number will rise as more bodies are recovered — the Israeli army sends taunting text messages to Gaza’s residents. These monsters don’t even have the decency to use correct grammar. [link]
Is this for real? I feel like crying. This is absolutely horrible.
So I got all freaked out today because I was making what I thought was a late payment on one of my student loans, and then I looked at the online statement and it didn’t say that it was past due. I started to get angry because I thought that this was yet another instance in which the loan company refuses to apply the extra money I send to the principle, but applies it to the next month’s payment instead. Then I realized that I paid the loan before it was due because I knew I’d be going home and would probably forget, which I did do, along with forgetting that I had paid it. So along with a set of magnifying glasses (which I’m more excited about than any sparkly thing I have ever purchased), I went ahead and bought a tiffin because I’ve been lusting after them for three years and so it’s time, I think.
I still get a little scared when I let myself buy things, even if I need them.
The fact that the ALA shared this link is so gloriously bitter and angry and I love it.
Is there a portmanteau for that? Angritter? Bangry?
Yeah, seriously, I remember thinking for like, half a second that that was a cool idea and then I was like…WAIT.
I don’t know why you insist on being bothered by so much or what in particular has changed in the past two weeks, but it would be super great if you could just recognize once and for all that Mr. Downstairs was a cowardly, disingenuous piece of lying, self-absorbed scum, because I’d really like to able to listen to the Avett Brothers, Mumford and Sons, and banjo music in general without feeling like my heart is rattling around in a big brass basin.
Begin again. For god’s sake. Please.